For the past few days I've been listening to Tony Evan's messages on KCBI.  He's been preaching to wives about marriage and how we treat our husbands.  I love his illustration this morning ....

 

If you as the defendant in a court room rant and rave and fuss in court, even if your side is in the right, the judge declares you out of order.  If you continue to make a scene, the judge orders you in contempt of court.  Many of us as wives are in contempt of God's court in our marriages.  We rant and rave and nag our husbands, and we may be entirely in the right about an issue and him entirely wrong.  We may have every right to pitch a fit. You may be married to a complete jerk!  But how we are approaching him is entirely wrong.

"It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." 

Proverbs 25:24

 

"A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand."

Proverbs 27:15-16

Are you that dripping faucet?  Does your husband wish he lived alone on the corner of a housetop?

So how are we supposed to approach a situation that certainly needs addressing? What do you do when you've asked your husband to please take out the trash on trash day or to please stop leaving his socks on the lovigin room floor? Let's look at 1 Peter 3:1-2

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." (emphasis mine)

 

I know. You are probably thinking, "You don't know my husband. You don't know what he's done. There's NO WAY I can keep my mouth shut!"  You are right. I don't know what he's done.  But let me ask you this.  Has nagging worked for you thus far?  Has your ranting and raving made any difference?  Is your husband really listening to you?  Isn't it worth giving God's way a try?  Even if it doesn't make sense?

It doesn't make sense, I know.  I'd much rather yell at my husband and let him know exactly what I think about him and what he's done to hurt me but God's Word says something entirely different. Whether you feel loved by your husband or not, your husband needs to know that you respect him.  The Bible commands us as wives to respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33).  It doesn't say to respect him if he deserves it.  Or if he loves you. Or if he's faithful. Or if he listens to you. Or if he brings you flowers. Or if he treats you well.  It merely says, "and the wife must respect her husband." Period.

 

It doesn't make sense. And yes, it's hard.  In fact it's impossible if you don't ask the Lord Jesus to help you.  Ask him to show you how you can respect your husband.  With your words, your tone of voice, how you treat him, with your actions, your attitude towards him .

Do you trust God? Do you trust the Creator of our universe who brought you and your husband together?  He orchestrated each of your lives so that you would meet and fall in love and get married.  Do you believe Him when he says your husband may be won without a word from you by your conduct when he sees your respectful and pure conduct toward him and others? 

 

Let's be like Mary when the angel came to tell her she was going to have a baby, the Son of God, via the Holy Spirit even though she wasn't married. May our response to the Lord Jesus Christ be the same as hers, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).