Recently Brad and I were challenged to write our our testimonies... the story of what Christ has done in my life. I thought I'd share mine.
I came to know the Lord when I was about 4 years old. From preschool age my parents taught me to memorize scripture based on the alphabet: A – All we like sheep have gone astray. B – Believe in the Lord Jesus and you shall be saved. Etc. We went to church each week; my dad was a pastor in South Africa (my parents grew up in Zimbabwe and moved to SA when they got married.). I grew up watching my parents walk the talk. They were godly and set a great example for me.
When I was 13, my dad preached a revival in Houston. A Pastor’s Search Committee from a church there heard him preach and later called him to be their pastor. Long story short, the Lord orchestrated our visas, air tickets, etc. within 3 months which certainly took many miracles. Much to my dismay we moved to the USA. All I had known was SA. My friends were there and after all, I was 13! Life isn’t grand at 13 in any general and to experience a move to an unknown country where I knew no one was tumultuous. During the months of moving and adjustment, I watched my parents’ incredible faith as they leaned on the Lord for everything. In turn, I learned to lean on him more as well. All we had was each other and the Lord. I learned the value of obeying the Lord even when nothing makes sense.
We eventually adjusted to life in the US. I was involved in youth group and Bible Studies and had my quiet time regularly. I continued to grow spiritually. I graduated from high school and went to Baylor where I became involved in college leadership at a church in Waco. I continued to attend a weekly Bible study and started dating Brad the summer before our senior year. After graduating, I moved to Dallas to find a job because I knew we’d get married at some point and that is where his job was.
We were married a year later and after a few years had our first child. When I was 34 weeks pregnant, we discovered that our baby had congenital heart disease and would need surgery as a newborn to survive. This turned my world upside down. Until now my life had had a few bumps in the road but nothing like this. I never dreamed I’d have a sick baby! My dreams for our family were dashed and I was devastated. The cardiologist reminded us of the verses in Psalm 139 about each of us being fearfully and wonderfully made.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, It was a good reminder that God doesn’t make mistakes; he intentionally designed Kirsten this way. But the worst was still to come. When Kirsten was 5 days old, she was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called DiGeorge Syndrome, a deletion of the 22nd chromosome. The day afterwards she had a successful heart surgery. I will never forget watching the nurse walk down the hall of the hospital with my baby. Was I going to see her alive again or was this the end? Never have I been forced to rely more on my Lord. During these weeks in the hospital, Brad and I learned together to rely on the Lord. We’d even go down to the chapel daily to pray and sing hymns to the Lord. The Lord strengthened our marriage and surprisingly we only had one fight during the almost 4 weeks we were in the hospital! Two type As being married can be tricky!
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
I prayed and prayed during the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy that the Lord would heal her heart. I was even anointed with oil and prayed over… twice! I was convinced that the Lord would heal her. What a testimony to his power that would be! And I’d give all the glory to him. So when the surgeon came out to tell us her surgery went well, I was again devastated. I was convinced he was going to tell us that after opening her chest, he’d found that her heart was normal.
Kirsten’s 1st year of life was difficult with surgeries and serious illnesses. My life was consumed with our special needs baby. I continued to pray that the Lord would heal her; I prayed continuously that he’d heal her of DiGeorge Syndrome. I knew he could. And then when Kirsten was 20 months old, I was reading 2 Corinthians 12 where Paul says he pleaded with the Lord 3 times to take away his thorn, and I felt the Lord say, “Stop it! Stop asking me to heal her of DiGeorge. She has it to glorify me!” It was a very clear message. Just to clarify, he didn’t instruct me to stop asking him to heal her heart, her sicknesses, etc. Just the syndrome.
Through Kirsten’s life the Lord continues to teach me that he is in control not me, something I continue to struggle with. Romans 11:33-36 has been a good reminder to me that I am not God but rather that he is sovereign.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord? Who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Having a special needs kiddo keeps me on my knees and I can truly say that I am thankful for the way he designed our family. It is difficult but it keeps me coming to him throughout the day.
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